the terrible ones?!

We’ve been out of town the last week or so, and we are finally getting back into the routine of things. We went to San Diego for a few days (more on our trip tomorrow…) and then I went up to YoungLife’s Lost Canyon camp with the YoungLives girls. It was an amazing time, even though I was away from my boys! The fact that mama was away for the last week or so may contribute to this post and what we’ve been dealing with since I got home…emper tantrums.

No one told me that at one year old, Baby J would be throwing himself down on the ground in anger, frustration, and sadness. In fact, today, my sweet little man threw a 23 minute temper tantrum due to the fact that his mama was eating breakfast. Seriously, guys. Those of you with kiddos are probably laughing at me right now and thinking, “Welcome to the club!” I’ve never experienced this before though! I wasn’t expecting my little angel to turn into a kicking, hitting, and screaming ball of tears a few times a day.

That being said, there are TONS of different ways that you can deal with this event. I’ve heard of ignoring, yelling back, videotaping it, talking them through it, distracting, and holding them and letting them deal with it. I’ve tried some of these… ok, all of them, and nothing seems to work. Since nothing has been working, I pray. I pray for my reactions. I pray for my sweet baby to come back and for him to calm down. I’ve made sure he’s safe. I try to distract and tell him that I understand he’s sad. Today, that didn’t work. I had to get Mr. Wonderful, who then managed to distract him quite well and get him to stop.

I guess I’m asking… what do you mamas do to stop the tantrums??? How do you deal with it??? I’m struggling, and prayer seems to be the only thing that works for us.

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(at least he’s ridiculously cute even in the midst of a tantrum) 🙂

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2 thoughts on “the terrible ones?!

  1. Ignoring while it’s going on is what I’ve seen work best for the past 34 years as a parent, teacher, and grandparent. Ignoring means truly, ignoring, though, such as going about your business without any interaction with the child…that’s the attention he wants. I’d keep him within sight, (but not make eye contact) and if he started to do something that will hurt himself or others (pinching mommy, biting, hitting, banging their head, etc.), I’d calmly pick him up, sit him on a stool in the corner for 30 seconds to a minute (at that age), again without anything more than a firm, “No!” right when they do something unsafe to you or themselves. Stay close by to re-sit him if necessary, but do not make conversation or eye contact. After the minute or so, pick him up and move him back to wherever he was pitching the fit (if he’s still in a tantrum), or, if he’s stopped, give him a big kiss and hug and congratulate him on stopping the tantrum. Yelling back, talking him through it, videoing him, are all too much for his current age. Holding him through it, in my opinion, is just giving attention that you don’t want to give at a time like that…in a way it reinforces the tantrum. It’s like saying, “See, mommy will hold you when you are screaming for no reason, kicking, hitting, etc.” Give the attention later, after the tantrum. They will end, that’s the truth, and the stage will end, too, sooner if you don’t give attention to it. Just my opinion, though!

    • Thanks for the advice Peggy! I’ll have to try that when the next one happens! Your opinion is greatly valued seeing as you have children, grandchildren, and hundreds of students to have practiced on. 🙂

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