tragedy and fear

Does anyone else avoid the news for fear that something else has happened in the world? Every time I turn on the news (in spite of the bias of the news channels), I get very sad and very scared. I am saddened by the loss of innocent lives, by the wars, by the fact that we STILL have troops across the world defending our freedom, by all of it. I hate the news. Not only does it make me very sad, but I get scared. Each day I wake up and think that this is another day that the Lord has blessed me with. A day with my son, my husband, and our dog that at any moment could be taken away. We don’t expect to go watch or run a marathon and have two bombs go off. We don’t expect to send our children to school and have them suffer a horrific tragedy. We don’t expect to go shopping and have our lives taken.

I’ve concluded that it is incredibly difficult to be a parent in the midst of tragedy. It makes life feel so much shorter and sets a fear into us that something tragic could happen to our sweet little ones. The events of the last 6 months have struck a fear into me that it’s not even safe to leave our home because something COULD happen. We do leave our home, and it is ok, but you never know. With the shootings in Oregon, Sandy Hook, and now the Boston Marathon, our world is becoming a very scary place to live and I want to do everything in my power to protect my sweet baby.

Being a parent to Baby J has changed my perspective. It is my job to protect him and make sure he is safe, that he is always safe. It’s my job to raise this little baby into a young man. It was always hard for me to understand how much you could love someone so much that you would do anything to protect them. I feel that way about my family. I would die before I let anything happen to them, especially my child. I want nothing more than for him to grow up safely and have a childhood free from fear. It makes me so sad to hear about children who have lost their lives for whatever tragic reason because I now immediately relate to the mothers. Those mothers who dreamt of more for their child; those mothers who dreamt of graduations, and weddings, and love for their children.

I have to remember that even though the world is a scary place and people are unpredictable, I believe in a God that will always be in control. He has a greater plan for this world that we don’t always understand. My prayer is that I can really apply that to my life and cherish every moment with my loved ones because we don’t ever know when that moment will be our last.

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